found_her

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<<removeclass "html" "white">> <img src="img/you.png" width="100%"> <div style="text-align: center;">[[ ☆|Error]]</div>

@@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘dark’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘cold’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘home’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘[[lost|Poem 3]]’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;'star’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘alone’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘alone’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘alive’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘scratch’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘star’@@@@.y;)@@

<div align='center'> @@.db;And@@ I found myself slipping. In the darkness, the sounds I had @@.db;so@@ cherished began to fade away. No matter how hard I breathed. How I strained my lungs. How desperately I tried to find my voice. To scream. Nothing. I @@.db;wept@@. It was @@.db;the@@ only thing I could do. For a moment, it drove away the quiet; though they were silent, my tears still ran. Eyes laden with sorrow, stinging, salty; dripping into the nothingness; if they don’t hit the ground, had they ever @@.db;fallen@@? (if there’s no one to see me, had i ever existed?) Glimpses of the shooting @@.db;star@@: the one that brought the sounds. Yet, this time, it merely hovered, dipped in. Out. It had stopped bringing the light, stopped @@.db;making@@ my words spill. They remained trapped. In my mind. The ones here, these words – they form @@.db;rivers@@. The longer they’re left to run and run and run, the more engraved they become. One day, @@.db;with@@ enough time, maybe... someone will see them. Time? It’s condensed in @@.db;its@@ dilation. Past, present, I don’t know. Long and short, everything and nothing, something and nothing. Which is it? (which am i?) Now, ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ there remains one constant; @@.db;tears@@. Every fleeting motion of the star; tears. Every flake of dust, fallen from the cracks; tears. Every shiver, of numbing cold, freezing my mind; tears. @@.db;Then@@, ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ I heard it. Just a little one – a little sound. But it was there, unmistakable. Did it see my words? Have they breached the darkness? It came back, it did! It moved ever so @@.db;slowly@@, but I could tell. //Scratch.// //Scratch.// See? You can hear it too, right? Haha, of course you can... You’re the one saying it, after all. //Scratch.// Soon, the light will follow, burst @@.db;from the@@ star. (as long as you’re here...) Bathe the darkness in its glow - wash the @@.db;bitter@@ stains from my cheeks. I can hold my breath, strain my lungs. Unchained, I float, as if in @@.db;water@@. Reach up. (i have @@.db;something@@ to believe in.) Captivated. By the twinkling. //Blink//. //Blink//. Flickering, beating. //Blink//, //blink//. //Thump//, //thump//. (flowing, flourishing love: my heartbeat @@.db;grew@@) Breath in. Out. I chase the star. When @@.db;it@@ comes close, I run and run and run. //Scratch.// //Scratch//. I try to grab – enclose before it flies. But there’s //Something// in the way. And I realise. It was never mine to reach. I realise. It was never falling, always flying. Away. Just above, just behind. I grab only air Is ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ the star ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ enclosed by //Scratch.// by ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ I can never touch? ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ when I @@.db;looked@@ into the abyss, (i felt...) //Something// ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ [[like glass.|Hand]] </div>

@@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘a glow?’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘i saw’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘a glow,’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘a star’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘a wish?’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘am i’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘dreaming?’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘is’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘something’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘here?’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘are you’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘with me?’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘i can't’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘remember’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘it's so [[cold|Poem 2]]’@@@@.y;)@@

@@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘i know it's silly’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘but it really feels like’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘lately’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘there's been somebody’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘watching over me’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘the star’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘keeps visiting’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘hovering’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘and glowing’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘the longer it stays’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘the warmer it gets’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘i thought’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘i couldn't dream’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘anymore’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘but’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘if this is a dream’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘i never want to [[wake up|4]].’@@@@.y;)@@

<<addclass "html" "white">>\ @@.i;<div style='font-size: 150%;'>''Not Found''</div> The requested URL /home was not found on this server. Additionally, a 404 Not Found [[error|5]] was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request. @@

@@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘the star gives light.’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘when it's here, i can almost’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘see my hand.’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘i can see the snow,’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘those flakes’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘that had fallen from the ceiling.’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘and, thanks to that,’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘thanks to the star’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘i've realized’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘the snow’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘is merely dust.’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘somehow, it had forced its way in.’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘but i don't mind.’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘even if it's make-believe,’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘this "snow" reminds me of [[home|Poem 4]].’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘of cozy mittens,’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘dappled with moisture,’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘heaping’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘piles of frost’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘until they form shapes’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘and those shapes’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘form realities’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘a ball, a man, an angel.@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘we'd put on our skates,’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘and soar across the ice’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘unstoppable.’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘... you stayed.’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘all this time’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘your noise,’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘the scratching’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘the clicking’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘the warmth,’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘the hum’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘the flashes of blue and white’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘they give me strength’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘say...’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘if there's a way in,’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘surely’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘there's a way out?’@@@@.y;)@@

<<removeclass "html" "white">> star = @@.g;0@@ @@.p;while@@ star = @@.g;0@@: ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;'where did [[you|6]] go?'@@@@.y;)@@

where did you go? where did you go? where did you go? where did you go? where did you go? where did you go? where did you go? where did you go? where did you go?where did you go?where did you go?where did you go?where did you go?where did you go?where did you go?where did you go?where did you go?where did you go?where did you go?where did you go?where did you go?where did you go?where did you go?where did you go?where did you go?[[where|Error 2]] did you go?where did you go?where did you go?where did you go?where did you go?where did you go? where did you go?

<<addclass "html" "white">>\ @@.i;<div style='font-size: 150%;'>''Not Found''</div> The requested URL /[[where|7]] was not found on this server. Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request. @@

<<removeclass "html" "white">> where did you [[go|Poem 1]]?

@@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘are you here?’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘i saw a star...’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘a second ago.’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘its silhouette'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘burned a little brighter.’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘i don't want to assume, but...’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘did you come back?’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘please’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘make those noises again.’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘look, I'll give you space!’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘you can start the scratching...’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘I need to know.’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘I need to know that I'm not alone.’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘You're here!’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘I knew it!’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘I knew you wouldn't really leave...’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘Something just... went [[wrong|9]], right?’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘We couldn't see each other...’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘But it's alright, now.’@@@@.y;)@@

@@.y;(@@@@.b;'I can't stand the quiet.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'When you're not here, everything freezes up.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'I've noticed something else, too.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'When you're not here, my words...'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'Start to drift away.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'As if I've lost them...'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'But, it's not all bad.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'Sometimes, I see... scraps?'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'Words and phrases, floating by.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'I can [[grab|10]] onto those.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'Pry them apart, expose their insides.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'Fill them with new meaning.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'It... reminds me of something.'@@@@.y;)@@

@@.y;(@@@@.b;'A hand.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'You have a hand, right?'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'Behind the star, I see a [[fingertip|11]].'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'Well, I can't be sure, of course...'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'But it's a similar shape.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'And there are little ridges, running down.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'Like knuckles.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'You know, when I first got here...'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'I tried to punch my way out.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'Stupid, I know.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'I hadn't even realized - there's nothing to hit.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'Without anything to touch,'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'I can't even be sure I have a body.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'Am I just my thoughts?'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'Am I just'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'the words'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'in my head?'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'If I think about it hard enough...'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'I feel bruises.'@@@@.y;)@@ @@.y;(@@@@.b;'Where my knuckles should be.'@@@@.y;)@@

(I like to think that it's you,) ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎([[reaching out|12]] to me.)

(I wish that we could talk.) (I have so much I want to ask.) (What about [[you|13]]?) (... Do you want to talk?)

answer = @@.ly;input@@@@.y;()@@ @@.p;if@@ answer = @@.b;'[[yes|Error 3]]'@@: ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎@@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘Thank you.’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.p;elif@@ answer = @@.b;'[[no|Error 3][ $no to true]]'@@: ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎@@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘Why?’@@@@.y;)@@

<<addclass "html" "white">>\ @@.i;<div style='font-size: 150%;'>''Not Found''</div> The requested URL /[[choice|14]] was not found on this server. Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request. @@

<<removeclass "html" "white">> @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘did i’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘do that?’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘did i’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘[[break|15]]’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘something?’@@@@.y;)@@

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause problems. I'm sorry. I just wanted to. To be... sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm <div title="elfish"> @@.y;[[s|16]]@@</div>

[[ha|17]]ve i... rui[[n|17]]e[[d|17]] it?

maybe i was wrong. maybe you're like me. are you lost? if i ‎ ‎ ‎ hold out ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ my [[hand|Poem 5]] ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ will it help guide yours?

I'm selfish. It's not your presence I miss, per se. I actually... don't have a way of knowing when you're here. Even when it's warm; when that soft, steady breeze rises from below... I sometimes feel I'm still alone. As if, separated by layers, and layers, you're not, quite... here. But, when I hear the scratching, the clicking, see the star - the fingertip behind it - those bursts of light... I think I miss your [[noise|Poem 6]] the most.

I can almost feel you. Have you been here all this [[time|Time]]?

<<set $date to new Date()>> <div align='center' style='font-size: 300%;'>\ <<print $date.getHours() >>:<<print $date.getMinutes() >> </div> <div style="text-align: center;">[[ ☆|20]]</div>

Is it nice? Wherever you are - can you see the sunlight? Waves of gold, lapping at your skin. ... Can you feel it? I think that's what I miss. Not the warmth, exactly. It's warm right now. It always is, when you're here. But, warmth without any light, without any real source, it's... not the same. Don't get me wrong! I'm happy you're with me - I am! It's much better than the cold, at least. I wonder, though. Is there no sun because there's no sky? But that wouldn't make any sense. There must be //some// sky. Else, how are you here? You and your star. Say, how did it go, again? When it gets dark... Do the stars all come out at once? They don't, do they...? I think it's... a couple, at first. Maybe just one. And, then, before you know it... they're all here! The whole sky is covered - constellations, twinkles, everything. Do you think the first star gets [[lonely|21]]?

I know I can't see your world, but. I can show you [[mine|22]].

It's something like [[this|23]].

You'd go mad. Right? answer = @@.ly;input@@@@.y;()@@ @@.p;if@@ answer = @@.b;'[[yes|24]]'@@: ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎@@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;‘I know.’@@@@.y;)@@ @@.p;elif@@ answer = @@.b;'[[yes|24]]'@@: ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎@@.ly;print@@@@.y;(@@@@.b;'It's terrifying.’@@@@.y;)@@

You're still here? I thought, after last time, maybe you'd disappear again. And you said yes! You agreed with me! Maybe, I just... needed to have more [[faith|25]]?

You know, when I asked... when I asked if you wanted to talk... I fully expected you to say no. <<if $no is true>> And I was right, haha. I know [[you|26b]] pretty well, don't I? Even though we're strangers, it feels like you've been with me forever. Weird, huh? <<elseif $no is false>> I was wrong. ... Was that your way of telling me to be [[braver|26a]]? <</if>>

<<set $no to false>> <<cacheaudio "her" "aud/findher.mp3">>

It’s okay, though. I know you’re just humouring me – you’ll leave eventually. Shooting star, and all... But I remembered. They don’t come out at once; somewhere in this "sky"... I’ll find another star. Thank you, really. You helped me be a little less lonely. You reminded me how to hope. But now... I think it’s time I move on. I can endure the cold. Because I know. Someone will come find me. Another star, another wish. And, maybe, with all those wishes, together. We can get a little closer. To the way [[out|1]].